Another year has passed. Another year without you and your brother Marlon. Another year of not seeing you grow and explore the world. Another year of wondering how your personality would have developed. Another year of wishing everything had just been different. Another year of having to accept that you died.
Your little sister is saying your name often now. She has the cutest way of saying Tobi. Each night she says “Night, night” to you and your brother in front of your pictures. She has recently discovered your candle on the dresser where we keep all your things. Thea wants the candle to be lit in the evenings and then she says “Marlon’s and Tobi’s candle”. Her favorite part is when she can blow out the candle before going to bed. Soon she will be old enough to better understand what has happened and we will try to talk with her about it, although it will be hard to explain something that we don’t understand. There was no reason for your death…
Today we will dedicate the Cuddle Cot we got for St. Paul’s Hospital to you and your brother. The hospital foundation and the nurses and staff at St. Paul’s have been incredibly supportive of this initiative and we are very grateful for all they have done for us and keep doing. They embrace the idea of providing all help possible to any other bereaved parents and the cot may play a small part in this by providing some extra time to families to be together. It is heartwarming to see how many people have come together in the past year to support initiatives on the maternity ward. Thank you.
We wish we could still hold you one more time, cuddle you, smell you or touch your hands or feet. We desperately try holding on to each precious memory, but time works against us and some of the details fade. We are very grateful to our volunteer photographer who captured so many beautiful images of us as a family in 2012.
We love you, Mum and Dad