Happy Third Birthday 1

Happy Third Birthday
Another year has passed. Another year without you and your brother Marlon. Another year of not seeing you grow and explore the world. Another year of wondering how your personality would have developed. Another year of wishing everything had just been different. Another year of having to accept that you died. Your little sister is ...

Second Birthday

Second Birthday
It is Tobias’ second birthday today. It is hard to believe that so much time has passed. Two years of being without Tobias and missing him and his brother Marlon every day. We tell little Thea about her brothers and speak of them often, but she is too little yet to understand. Very often it ...

The whole story 2

Working in a hospital often puts things into perspective for me especially since our boys died. I don’t work with patients directly but walk through the hospital often enough to see a lot of patients. Like the women this morning with the bald head who was so thin and frail that she barely could walk. ...

The platitude dilemma 2

We were recently reminded of what it means to be struck by tragedy and how important the support from others can be. Whenever something terrible happens, some people seem to be lost for words though. “What to do? What to say?” comes up. Frankly, I don’t know. I don’t have a recipe. I don’t have ...

The strong don’t cry? 4

I’ve been thinking about this post for a while and when the topic came up at our support group yesterday I decided to put my thoughts together. It’s about crying and being strong (as the title might suggest…). People sometimes say to us “You are so strong”. Depending on the situation I really don’t like ...

A smile and a tear 1

I was walking across campus this morning and there was a small group of toddlers in front of me. It must have been a daycare group. They were about the same age as Marlon would be now or a little older and they were so cute with their raincoats and their gumboots having fun jumping ...

The Land of Sunshine

Jens and I went to the gym next door this morning to get some exercise on a rainy day. While I absolutely avoid music at the moment as it is the worst emotional trigger, I need music to exercise. So I go for something fast and innocuous. I was listening to Faith No More (Angel ...