Say their name

Here is another example of bereaved parents who took action to address a situation that many of us seem to have experienced after losing a child: a society that cannot deal with death of children, even less so support bereaved parents. I have watched a lot of similar videos, read many blog posts and meet other bereaved parents regularly. It is still very surprising to hear the same experience again and again. Several of these experiences are captured in this 16 minutes video. I think it is time well spend.

Experiences that many bereaved parents seem to share are: others avoiding them (the bereaved parents), losing friendships, others not acknowledging the dead child. For me it is still difficult to comprehend that at the same time when we have such negative experiences there are many situations that are on the opposite end. There really does not seem to be much in the middle, reactions of others tend to be black or white and very often it seems to depend on the amound of suffering another person has experienced. Is mankind compassionate? But is this compassion dormant until we have suffered ourselves? The video mentions positive experiences like meeting people who can relate, who have suffered themselves and are compassionate and supportive, friendships that literally form overnight with complete strangers due to a strong bond.

Some quotes from the video that stuck with me:

  • “It was after the funeral that in a way it really kicked in for me”
  • “I hide my grief due to people not understanding.”
  • “It is a bit like: the sofa is broken, let’s go and buy a new one”
  • “You don’t know whether that is normal.”
  • “It is not really living, it is just existing, especially at the beginning.”
  • “When you lose a child, you lose a part of you.”
Help break the silence!

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