Second Birthday

It is Tobias’ second birthday today. It is hard to believe that so much time has passed. Two years of being without Tobias and missing him and his brother Marlon every day. We tell little Thea about her brothers and speak of them often, but she is too little yet to understand.

Very often it feels like yesterday: the fun Saturday evening when Tobias was kicking like crazy, an seemingly normal night, the concern in the morning when Kerstin did not feel him move, the long and silent drive to the hospital, the words that crushed us “I cannot find his heartbeat”, his birth, seeing him for the first time, spending too little time together, the drive home without him and the weeks of despair to follow. Now our parenting job for him is to keep his memory alive.

For his birthday we will do our usual tradition. We will have cake for Tobi and spend time working on his scrapbook. This year we decided to add some fundraising. I have been in touch with St. Paul’s Hospital where both Tobias and Thea were born. We will raise money for a Cuddle Cot which is a product that helps parents spend more time with their babies. Essentially, it is a cooling blanket that can go into a bassinet and helps keep parents and baby together in the room.

Cuddle CotWe know how important that time in the hospital has been for our grieving process and it feels right to try to give the gift of time to parents who might have to face a similar tragedy. Without this product the only way to extend the time together is by using ice bags to cool the body. Ice bags are not very helpful to cuddle, everything gets wet and they need to be changed often. These are things parents should not have to deal with when they want to be with their child. In Tobias’ name we will try to improve this situation. We have to raise a total of $3,500 to buy the cot.

If you wish to contribute to this fundraiser we would very much appreciate your donation. Please donate through the St. Paul’s Hospital Foundation at

Important: in order to correctly attribute the donation to the Cuddle Cot it is important that you provide the Tribute Information as follows:
First Name: Tobias
Last Name: Locher
Type: In Memory of
Please leave the area at the top as the default “Greatest Needs” as the Tribute Information will be used to direct the funds correctly.

All funds raised in Tobias’ name will directly go against the purchase of the cot. The foundation will issue tax receipts for any donation of $10 or more.

Help break the silence!