Two years ago our first son Marlon was born. Today we acknowledge and honor him like every year. We do this very much like any other family would: with candles, balloons, cake and a tradition. It is a painful day as it reminds us of what we have lost. We miss him so much and the gaping hole he has left in our lives is always present. But honestly every day is like that, maybe not as much as a birthday or anniversary. However, we do not want this to be only a day of sadness for us. Today is Marlon’s day. We want to remember the joy he brought us as well. The excitement when the pregnancy test showed a positive result. 10 months of expecting him to join our family, a time of caring for him, feeling him, reading to him and seeing him kick and move in his mom’s womb. Two days in the hospital and hospice that we were allowed to have him and be with him. We cherish the memories of the time we spent together with him.
Our tradition has evolved around planting flowers. For his first birthday we and our friends planted bulbs for him and it was a pleasure to see the flowers come into bloom in summer. Seeing flowers grow and bloom simply carries a lot of meaning. It is a symbol of life, death and renewal. This year we have put a little variation on planting flowers. We heard of flowerbombing after we talked about an idea in our support group. It involves creating a seed ball from clay, soil and seeds. This ball can be thrown to grow in otherwise inaccessible or low nutrient ground. We will find some nice places and leave our seed ball. It will hopefully grow into something that we and others will enjoy. And every time we come past one of our flowerbombed places, we will think of Marlon and smile.
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.