Mother’s Day

For the past hour I have tried to write a post about Mother’s Day. I have started and deleted my words. I considered writing about the commercialization of the event and the loss of the true meaning, about why the day might unintentiously feel exclusive to a lot of women, about the origins of the day, the effect it has on bereaved parents and so on. Apparently, a lot could be written about Mother’s Day.

But I always come back to the same thing I feel is important. I don’t care about the greeting cards and flowers. And I am not at all convinced that I need a dedicated day to say this, but it might not hurt to say it on this day. Two mothers are particularly important to me.

My mother for everything she has done for me. It starts with the physical pain of having delivered me into this world, probably even earlier with all the pain and nuisances during pregnancy. Followed by all the years of putting my needs ahead of her needs, teaching me, explaining things to me, caring for me, supporting me, helping me. Sleepless nights when I was sick, worries when I stayed out longer and did not call, arguments about what I should not do. Happy and sad moments together. The list is so long that I am not even going to try to come up with something that will be incomplete. We all know what mothers do for their children. And it feels right to acknowledge that and say thank you. And I am happy to do that: Thank you mom! Without you, I would not have been able to become the person that I am today.

The second mother is my wife who has given birth to our two beautiful sons. If people could observe the care, gentleness and love that bereaved mothers show for their deceased children, I think they might be very touched. A mother’s love is unconditional and it never ends, the bond continues and survives death. This is why this day is so hard for us. We love our children, but we cannot hold them, except in our hearts. You are a beautiful mother Kerstin and I wish I could have seen our children bask in your love, your gentleness and care for them while growing up. Even if others might not be able to see what a wonderful mother you are, I do see it every day and I thank you for being the extraordinary and special person that you are. Our sons could not have hoped for a better mom.

Help break the silence!